When people want to look intelligent, they often try to impress by using complex phrases and big words. But listening intently, asking questions, displaying humility, and keeping your message simple all show high emotional intelligence and lead to stronger connections.

Here are three approaches for developing high emotional intelligence.

1. “Tell me more.” When someone confides in you, it can be tempting to share your own personal anecdote. Instead, ask questions that show you are interested in what the person has to say. A phrase like “tell me more about that” can encourage a person to discuss what they’re experiencing. And when you try to put yourself in their shoes, it can help you to respond in a way that shows you acknowledge their feelings.
2. “I think….” When offering an opinion, avoid the phrase “here’s the thing,” which implies that whatever follows will be the final take on the subject. Instead, start your statement with “I think,” which doesn’t sound as self-important or like you are issuing a declaration.
3. “Can you give me advice?” Although it may seem counterintuitive, asking for advice can make you look smarter. It takes emotional intelligence to know that you don’t have all the answers. And an intelligent person, when asked for advice, will think you’re smart for knowing who to come to. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions—it shows that you are listening and truly interested.

For more advice, read “Use These 3 Phrases to Sound Smarter and More Emotionally Intelligent, Experts Say.”